Chapter Twenty-One

A chapter in which Milly is the worst fag hag ever.

“Jesus, Regan, I thought you were dead.” Milly descended on me as soon as I opened the door, dark eyes tight with worry.

“Watch your mouth, Milly,” Abby said, but I detected a note of relief in her voice. She had come in from the kitchen at the sound of the door.

“We missed you last night, son.” Jeff folded up his paper, and got up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Things ran late.” Lamest excuse ever.

Jeff walked over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re eighteen, an adult, and can do what you like. But a phone call that you weren’t gonna be back would have been appreciated.”

God, this was so weird. I’d have to ask Milly if this is what having a curfew felt like. Actually, I really did feel kinda bad. I should have known she would overreact.

“I know, I should have called,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I just didn’t think about it. Milly knew I was going to meet someone, so I just assumed that…well, I assumed she’d know what happened if I didn’t come back.”

“I understand,” Jeff said. “It’s just a miscommunication. But we were worried, and it’s nice to know you’re safe.”

“Safe and sound,” I said. “Snug as a rug.”

“Snug as a bug,” Milly corrected.

“Whatever.”

Shaking his head, Jeff stepped back from me. “Well, now that we know everything’s okay, why don’t you guys go on. It’ll be a little bit before breakfast, and I’m sure you two have things to talk about.”

“Yes,” Milly said firmly, snagging my arm and walking me to the stairs. “We absolutely do.”

“You scared the shit out of me,” Milly announced as she pulled me into my guest room and slammed the door. “I am now completely shitless. I’ll never shit again.”

I sighed. “Milly—”

“No,” she barked. “Let me finish.”

I made a gesture that she should continue.

“When you left,” she said, “I was under the impression you were going to meet him for a, I dunno, debriefing, or whatever. It occurred to me after that you gave Zo your full name. If she was trying to drive a wedge between you, giving Ira that information would be the quickest way. And then you went to meet him. And then you didn’t come home.”

She said nothing else for a minute, but I knew she wasn’t done. “I thought you were dead, Regan,” she said softly. “I really did.”

“Milly, God, I’m fine.” I came forward, using my best soothing manner. “Nothing bad happened.”

“But I didn’t know that,” Milly said.

“Mills, you called it a date yourself,” I pointed out.

She didn’t reply, so I kept going. “We talked for a bit, and then we went to his house.” I shrugged. “I’m sure you know what happened next, and then I just fell asleep.”

“You don’t do that, Ree.” Her voice was tight again. “You never go alone to a guy’s place, let alone stay the night. You just don’t do that.”

“I never have before,” I admitted. “And I should have realized you wouldn’t anticipate that, but there’s nothing to worry about. I’m home safe, Ira still doesn’t know who I am, and Zo hasn’t bothered me since I ran her off.”

“What if she’s just biding her time?” Milly asked. “You have no idea what’s she’s doing up there.”

“If she’s using her house resources to plot against me there’s nothing I can do about that,” I said.

“Which is all the more reason not to stay over night on the same damn property,” she burst out.

“Chill,” I said shortly. “Nothing happened. Everything is fine.”

She was shaking her head, but I could see the fight leaving her. She sat down heavily on the bed. Stifling a sigh, I went to her and put my arm around her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Milly.” I stroked the back of her head, tangling my fingers in her long hair. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Sighing, she leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

“I can only promise to try not to scare you unnecessarily,” I murmured, placing my chin on her head.

“I know,” she said. “Someday you’ll go out and not come back for real.”

“It’s the nature of the beast,” I said. “Not very many people in this life live long. Fortunately my people have a better track record than most.”

“Yeah,” Milly bit off. “You might make it to fifty.”

“You’ve always known what I do.” I was still trying to calm her. “It’s how we met.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I know. It’s different when you’re not around all the time. I don’t have to think about it.”

“I’m smart, I’m careful,” I said. “Someday, somewhere, something will take me out. But it will be a long time from now.”

“I hope so,” she whispered.

We sat there is silence for a few minutes, letting Milly collect herself. When she was ready she sat up and pushed away from me.

“All right, enough of this,” she declared. “Tell me what happened at Ira’s.”

I laughed and fell backwards against the bed. “What, you want a blow by blow?”

“Don’t you know I live vicariously through your sexual exploits?”

“Wow, that explains so much.”

“Don’t try and sidetrack me.” She reached over and poked my leg. “Spill.”

Rolling over so I could see her, I flashed her a jaunty smile. “Well, I’m still sore, does that tell you anything?”

She sniggered. “Worked you out, huh?”

“He tore my shit up, yo,” I deadpanned.

“Holy God.” She shook with laughter.

“But then he forget to throw the condom away, so it sperm-glued itself to my leg,” I added.

“Oh, gross!”

“Pretty much,” I agreed. “Kinda killed the mood, I have to say.”

“So,” she said, completely obvious slyness in her voice. “I notice that’s not your shirt you’re wearing.”

“Like you know everything I own,” I huffed.

“Everything you own can fit in a duffel bag.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, it’s his shirt. My t-shirt was disgusting after sleeping in it last night.”

“Now you’ve gotta find an excuse to give it back to him, I suppose?”

“Won’t have to try too hard.” I grinned. “He admitted that’s why he gave it to me.”

“I’m amazed at his romantic craft.”

“Bite me.”

“No, thanks, but I’m sure he will.”

I snorted. “In his dreams.”

“What will you do if that comes up?” Milly asked.

“I’m only gonna be in town a few more days,” I replied. “I doubt it will come up in that length of time. It’s not like we’re serious.”

“Then why stay the night?”

Damn. She had me there.

Due to the position I was in, I could only half-shrug. “I dunno, I just…wanted to. And it seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

“And what does it seem like at this time?” she countered.

“In hindsight, in the light of day?” I had to concede defeat. “It seems like a pretty fucking stupid idea.”

“And yet you’re planning to meet up with him again.” Her opinion of this idea was evident in her voice.

“Yep,” I said.

“Why?”

“I still have to give his shirt back,” I said. “Maybe that’s all that will happen.”

“Oh, please,” she scoffed. “You and I both know you don’t have that kind of impulse control.”

I snapped my fingers. “Damn, then guess I have to fuck him.”

“Regan, seriously,” Milly said. “Isn’t it an awful risk to take?”

“No, not really,” I said. “No more risky than anything else I do, and a lot more fun in the pay off. Look, I know it’s not stellar decision making, but I’ll be out of town long before the time we’d have to come clean. And in the meantime I like spending time with him. He’s fun, funny, nice, and a great lay. There’s no reason not enjoy it for what it’s worth.”

“Other than the whole mortal enemies thing,” she said with a sardonic lift of her eyebrow.

“I’m not sure that term applies. I’m a mortal enemy, sure, but he’d be, like, an immortal enemy.” I gave her a shit-eating grin.

“Kiss my ass, St. James,” she replied.

Before I could come up with my witty reply, the vibration of my phone broke in. I rummaged in my pocket, and pulled it out, glancing at the caller I.D.

I frowned. “It’s my dad.”

“Oh,” Milly said slowly.

I looked at her sharply. “Milly, what did you do?”

“When you didn’t come home, I called your dad to ask what I should do,” she said. I just stared at her, and she hurriedly added, “He told me just to wait until morning to worry.”

“You called my dad because I was out getting laid?” I asked, incredulous. “You are the worst fag hag ever.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “Just answer the phone.”